Sabbaths… a day meant to be restful, a day meant to spend with the Lord in reverence & awe of Him, a day to refuel & be ready for the week. However, my sabbaths have been anything but that. As I continue to try to better learn & navigate how to be restful & use sabbaths the way they’re meant to be used, I continually fall short every time! Last sabbath I was stressed the whole day, today’s sabbath has got me in tears, frustration & loneliness.
My team & I are now in a new area of Albania called Kukës for a few days. For the past two weeks we were in Kruja for debrief & then training. Now we are here for a few days before heading out for a nearby village (not sure where just yet as we’re still asking the Lord where He wants us to go). This is our first ATL (ask the Lord) time where we don’t have a host & where each team asks where/what the Lord wants us to go/do. So we have all gone in different areas of Albania now. This is also the first time since leaving the states that our squad has separated into teams.
Every day is a challenge for me! I’m realizing how much of a homebody I am & that it takes me a while to get used to things but then everything gets changed again & the process starts over. My stress levels are to the max almost daily. The stress of the change I’m trying to constantly adapt to weighs heavy on me & I feel it spread into my team. I definitely have moments of wanting to give up & go home, yet the weight of giving up still doesn’t outweigh the desire to push through. I’m learning so much & know that I will look back & so appreciate this year!! The Lord is already revealing to me so many things I need to work on! Pride, selfishness, contentment, fear, anxiety, my words, my actions, grace, forgiveness, love, making the most of what’s before me, allowing others to help me & control.
All this to say, today has been real hard!! But the Lord is so good!!
It’s in these moments that I grow the most & am grateful for it.
Prayers for my team & I are greatly appreciated!
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